Beyond Sight
by Evil Towel
Summary: The Byakugan can see many things, but he is still blind. Maybe if he just opens his eyes he will be able to see the future. [Oneshot, slight NejiHina]


Three cheers for FFnet and QuickEdit, for mutilating my formatting. Angry!Neji is now... not so much.

* * *

**Beyond Sight  
**_The Byakugan can see many things, but he is still blind.  
Maybe if he just opens his eyes he will be able to see the future._

* * *

When I fought her, it was as if I wasn't in control. And at the same time, I was. I _wanted_ to do all that to her. I wanted to hurt her so badly she would break. 

So I hurt her. I attacked her. It was our one-sided verbal battle before the match began, and she never stood a chance. She was a loser. She was weak. She was going to lose, and she knew it. And at that time, it was true. I was so angry. I had lived my entire life, caged, with this anger inside me, and I finally had my chance to let it out. I was no longer locked in the cage. They were going to look at _me_, for once. I could see them looking.

Green jumpsuits and grim tales.

Blue eyes and blonde anger.

White faces and wide eyes.

They could all see me, as an individual. I was never going to go back to being just 'a Branch House member', locked in that cage. I was going to be myself. It was my destiny, my fate. So I grasped it fiercely with both hands, and fought her with my words. I had my chance to be myself, for the first time, and I was going to win no matter what it cost me.

It was as if I wasn't in control. And at the same time, I was. I _wanted_ to do all that to her. I wanted to hurt her so badly she would break.

And she did break.

But then that idiot loser standing on the balcony butted in. She liked him, I could tell. He was her anchor, even if the moron didn't realize it. So she anchored herself, and our fight began. If you could even call it that. We both knew what the outcome was going to be, despite how she tried to hide it from herself.

She wasn't as bad as I thought she would be, at first. I had to give her some credit. I disabled her offense, and for a long time I allowed myself to flow through the motions and just watch her.

High.

Side.

Low.

Block.

This was the first time I'd seen her without fear. She really was quite pretty. Then I caught myself thinking that and lashed out at the nearest thing. Her.

So I attacked her again, setting aside the fight to return to our verbal battle. I crushed her hopes. _I wanted to hurt her so badly she would break._

But this time, she refused to break. And then I realized just who they were looking at. They still weren't looking at me. They were looking at _her_. I was still just a Branch House member, defined only by my anger, my cruelty, my fight. I was more than that! Couldn't they see me? I could see them--couldn't they see me? But it was not to be. Nobody could see me. I was in my cage again. I could only look out and see them, see their little world.

Green jumpsuits and grim tales.

Blue eyes and blonde anger.

White faces and wide eyes.

I could see them all, yet none of them could see me. Though, looking back, I realize that I could never see her. I couldn't see _all_ of her, at least. Only her weaknesses. And maybe I couldn't really see them, either. All that my great, all-powerful eyes could see was myself.

But at that time, I could only feel bitterness. Why couldn't they see me? Why was she the only one in their eyes? She, a trembling, bleeding _loser_, a weakness. I didn't care what I was forcing her to endure! I had suffered, too! Couldn't they see my pain, my vengeance, my own determination not to lose what little I had left?

But no, I had pushed them all away.

Yet she still stood before me, bloodied and battered. _Why?_ I wondered angrily. _Why does she do this to herself? Why does she do this to me?_ I didn't understand. So I fought harder, lashed out fiercer, struggled against fate, and watched them all from the sphere of everything that was my vision.

I could see them.

Green jumpsuits. Grim tales. Blue eyes. Blonde anger. White faces. Wide eyes.

I could see the world.

Green jumpsuits. Grim tales. Blue eyes. Blonde anger. White faces wide eyes white eyes flicker right left up down hide behind memories of pain my pain my suffering my angry at myself the world and your weakness my strength my struggle but they can't see it and only you and your wide fear fight fierce fate friends shout and never stop screaming inside the cage _my destiny_--

I could see the future.

For that single shining moment, it was all clear, my destiny laid out in a web before me. It was beyond sight. It was clarity, stark white against the blackness that was all there was in every direction. And I saw her.

At the beginning, at the end, at the joy, at the despair, at the everything that was and would be _now_.

My destiny.

And I understood something then, in a moment of that absolute stillness and bliss. It was a moment where I knew the meaning of the word _absolution_. I was forgiven, I was absolved. There was no more anger, no more vengeance, no more pain, just a moment where I transcended myself. But I still had that single question.

_Why? Why does she do this to herself? Why does she do this to me?_

And then, just before I lost myself to the flow of time, it gave me the answer.

She wasn't going to leave.

And neither was I.

But then it was gone, and all the anger and vengeance and pain came rushing back, along with the echo of her final words. I couldn't stop it. I was just hurting so badly--

I wanted her to break.

It was as if I wasn't in control. And at the same time, I was. I _wanted_ to do all that to her. I wanted to hurt her so badly she would break.

I wanted her to hurt so badly she would break.

I wanted her to hurt.

Just like I was hurting.

At that moment, it was the only thing in the world. Beyond the anger, beyond the vengeance, even beyond the pain. There was only that one wish of mine.

I wanted her to hurt.

I guess it was a good thing that they stopped me. I hadn't been in control. Though in actuality, I know I had been. Now, at least, I'm glad they stopped me.

The sight of her body is what really brought it home to me. I think her blood reminded me of how much pain she really felt. After all, it was my blood too.

I saw the future again when I fought Naruto, and again on the mission to bring back Sasuke. I haven't felt it since, but I don't really mind. Maybe it means that I don't have anything else that I need to understand. Or maybe it means that I'll have to find my own way from now on. I'll figure it out, in time.

I don't hurt so much anymore, either. Neither does she. I know because we were the ones to heal each other. After Naruto left, who else was there? A smile works wonders, you know? Especially _her_ smile. I had never understood what people meant when they said things like that, but now... things are different.

People can see me now, too, and I know why. It's because I stopped looking at myself. I see now, that she had never looked at herself. She only looked at others. That was what made them look back at her, despite her 'weakness'. I try to learn that from her. I've finally found someone I want to protect, and it's changed how I see things. It's earned me a few smiles.

Sometimes, though, I feel as if her smile is the only one that really matters. Those are the days when I pull her into an empty room and kiss her senseless before we are forced back to business as usual. Those are the days when I really love her.

No, I'm not hurting so badly anymore.

The years and those few glimpses at my destiny have helped me to realize a few things. When I saw the future, she was the beginning, middle, and end. Now I know why.

It was her smile.


End file.
